BUSY TIMES AHEAD

- Signed up to learn the Japanese Language
- Will be trying my advance theory for the 3rd time with Steffi in 2010.
- Work at CH is most of the time 10hours per day for 5 days.
- Going to pick up guitar from Melissa

Busy Busy Busy.
So looking forward to all the activities I have planned for myself.
Thank goodness Chao Ta gives me lots of freedom to indulge in all the things I wan to do :D

------------

I want to go sing KBox!!! and get contact lenses in 3 colors, brown, grey and green.






お誕生日おめでとう

SHOPPING SPREE

Bought lots of things today.

- Levis Jeans
- Converse Shoe
- 3 tops from Cotton On

total damage = $195.70

that's all for shopping till my hearts content for this month.
I'm a happy girl :D

匿名的朋友

匿名的朋友.. 祝你生日快乐..

----------

快乐也有许多种
没注意到其实时间过得很快

counting down

3 more days to Christmas

9 more days to a new year

13 more days to a new work environment

excitement, anticipation and fear...

2009 seems to have flashed past me, it feels like I ma chasing after time this whole year. Tired yet fruitful. Hopefully with new plans I have for myself, 2010 will be yet another eventful year.

-----------------

楊丞琳-匿名的好友



-----------------

i am sick and tired of arguements. it seems to be neverending.

maybe i should just be numb to everything to prevent it.

.

Certain things you do are meant to be discreet. It's a form of respect and being sensitive to people's feelings. If you still think that I am making a big fuss then I've got nothing much to say.

王心凌有新歌了

你的微笑姿态还是默默的存在(你~还~在)
在我心底某一块
不再是我们的还是要勇敢期待(爱~还~在)

我很好那么你呢想起的我是怎样的
当初哭着分不开现在都能用微笑释怀
轻轻问候着

我很好那么你呢离开我要比从前快乐
眼泪是记得而不哭了是懂得
我们都会幸福的

Breathe

Taylor Swift's Breathe grows on me. Such a bitter- sweet song.



Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesnt work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.


-------------------

Unofficially beginning work tmr. Excited yet apprehensive. It's a little frightening not knowing what is coming my way. But I'm sure God has big plans for me :D

I survived 1 year plus at such an unpredictable and disprganized place, I'm sure I can survive at least 1 year at the new place. 加油！

It was a somewhat difficult decision to leave. I had my reasons for wanting to work at Holland, but I guess it's time to let go of certain wish which will not come true. At least not for now.

Shall not talk about this anymore. I guess things happen for a reason, it's all in God's plan.

Happy stuff:

X'mas is coming. So is someone's birthday.
Happy 23rd Birthday to You! Wish you happiness and may all good things come to you.

----------------------

To Chao Ta:
Spending another X'mas with you. You have been a great support for me for the past 2 years. Appreciate it much! :D

a parellel universe

Maybe it's my resentment towards reality and my current situation which makes me want to fall back on my ridiculous belief that a parallel universe do exist.

From now onwards I shall (/ignore) on every unhappy things i hear, see and face. When someone you hope to understand you doesn't and the person who understands you the most doesn't exist, you just have to rely on yourself and God to make yourself less upset.

Probably it's best for us to stay(literally) this way. I can predcit so much conflict between us if we stay together as your character will always clash with mine. And I do see myself trying to tolerate and all I ask is for assurance and understanding, but no matter how hard I try to explain to get you to see how I feel, you always see me as stubborn or difficult. I don't need you to agree with me, I just need you to feel and empathize with me. Is that too hard to ask of you?

for December.

• work on my punctuality. be 10minutes earlier.
• be an observer first, followed by a listener before i make comments
• gossip less
• spend less on unecessary muchies

---------------

Having only 3.5hours of sleep last night is a killer. The whole day, I was feeling sleepy, it was hard to focus on the things I was doing and the worst part was the throbbing in my head. TERRIBLE!

Was thinking of other alternatives other than resigning. Perhaps I should request for Part-tiem position, whereby I clock-in 30hours a week instead of the current 44hours. That way, I will have ample time to have fun while trying to earn some money. Wonder how good will this idea of mine be and wonder if BOSS will agree.

OFF TO BED!

2010

Next year I want to take up Eletronic Keyboard and Pilates :D

back to work.

How nice if everyone gets to enjoy a 4day work week or 24 days annual leave. Never ever will it be possible. Guess I'll just dream on.

It's going to be week after week of 'extra- curricula activities' at work. SIANZ! I seriously don't see a point giving my 101% for this company. Or maybe I just lack of motivation.

$$ is motivation. And I'm not getting enough of it from this line. Torn between simplicity and cash. What will my ultimate decision be? Though I am certain I will leave this company in 4 moths time.

Aim: Tender resignation on the 1st March 2010.

best live version in my opinion.

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

-------------

the movie was great and the song is fantastic.

favorite movie and song, and liv tyler was super hot in the movie :P

Every 2 years

I'm wrong!!! A trip to the countries I would love to visit is POSSIBLE. And I'm going to do so every 2 years. Wanted to start off with Australia next year, but I realize that if I don't aim for USA first, I'll probably be too old for DisneyLand. Anyway, I'm going to save my ass off and see which one I can afford first. $3000 here I come!!!

stay on for another year?

I'm in a dilenma. As much as I dislike being in my current work environment, I am a bit lazy to move to a new place and the reason for me choosing to work in Holland is still not met yet. Anyway, I'll remain till I can't tolerate anymore.

Can't wait to watch the movie 2012. It looks real good to me.

If I have the opportunity, I want to go overseas to do my degree too. But I'm not blessed with that kind of money.

Chao ta's COMING BACK!
Yippie.

2010 Trip To Sydney Australia

It's the 3rd time I;m reading the book "Lucy in the Sky" by Paige Toon, and each time I read the book, I can't help but to imagine myself being in Sydney's Manly Beach. So next year, I must visit that place! And I will. I'm so going to work hard, and save hard to fufil this wish of mine. I estimated the cost and this is what I have calculated for 2 pax for a 6D 5N Trip.

Spenditure: $2000
SIA Air Tix: $1928
Hotel: $1100

Total Cost: $5028

(prices in SGD)

guess i have to save harder.
Oct- May, 8 months
$350/ month.

random musings

Honestly, I'm enjoying staying apart from Chao Ta and going over to his place over the weekends; at least for now. It gives me the personal space I need and reduces the chance of any possible arguements. I hate arguing with him, each time I argue with him, I get the feeling the relationship is going to end. Although I know I'm just being too emotional and drama la but it's still very depressing.

But But But.. it's weird when I'm him, I hope I'm not, but when I am not, I wish i can be right next to him.

Ok. Maybe I'm just crazy. Hmm......

ok.. to be ignored.

i'm probably just feeling anal cos my bag decided to died on me in the middle of Orchard Road, and I had no choice but to carry all my stuffs in 2 huge Takashimaya paperbags.
-------------

Time to be pro- active in making friendships. I should start with Mr Ta whom I last saw in year 2006 but chat with on MSN almost everyday. I want to be loner- kia no more. HAHA!!

------------

i wonder how does vodka with cranberry taste like. Melissa says it taste like medicine.
???

really?

-----------

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

(Fireflies- Owl City)

Chao Ta

10 questions i want to ask you?

1. can i fall in love with you all over again?

2. will you sponsor marie france body line treatment when i am starting to be unable to regain my figure after childbirth?

3. if i tell you i am holding back will you be upset?

4. can you forgo your support for MANU and join the KOP?

5. can we go to australia or japan next year?

6. can headbutt, elbow you and finally end it with a figure of '8'?

7. will you laugh at me if i fall down in the public?

8. can you say something nice?

9. will you take slow walks with me?

10. if i die? will you cry?

simple yet so difficult.

Need to add 100% more patience to my already 80% patience. Why didn't I thought of being a Pre-school teacher earlier. Though I earn less, but at least life now is much simpler, peaceful and happier. I enjoy being around children. Although some can really suck my blood, but still, they will do the cutest thing which makes me smile.

A friend asked me what are the Top 100 things I would want to do/ achieve before I die. Hmm... I don't know if I have 100 things, but I do have some.

1. Visit Japan, Russia, Germany, Amsterdam, USA, London, Greece
2. Attend a wine appreciation course
3. Learn to play either a drum/ guitar/ keyboard
4. Take a ride on a Vespa
5. Keep my hair to waist length and perm it
6. Drink till I'm dead drunk
7. A collection of 20 pairs of converse in various colors and designs
8. A degree
9. Watch a live soccer match in Europe
10. Experience winter
11. Live overseas for a month or more
12. Experiencing falling crazily in love for someone
13. Open beer bottle caps using my teeth
14. Get a nose job
15. Fimer abs, thighs and arms
16. Meet Fann Wong in person
17. Adopt a pen- pal
18. Pick up japanese and french language
19. Be an air stewardess
20. Go on a backpacking trip to one of the countries stated in Point #1
21. Step foot into Zouk/ ButterFactory/ St. James
22. Visit a Thai Pub
23. Spent $1000 in a day shopping in Bangkok
24. Go on a holida alone to somewhere. But I'm afraid to sleep in the dark and alone.
25. Sing with a band

That's about all I can think of for now.

Off to bed.......

罗忆诗- 别再哭了

伤心情歌播几遍了 你的眼还湿红红的
生命总有些过客 现在不过多了一个
结束了何必再拉扯 有些事总该遗忘的
你听着听着又哭了我明白的 谁都难免不舍

别再哭了 多不值得 想一想把爱情看透彻
生活苦涩该他负责 他会后悔他做了这选择
别再哭了 多不值得 失去也是另一种获得
伤心情歌 不属你的 幸福不一定非爱谁不可
难熬的 会经过的

爱错了 又能如何

---------------------

好好听的一首歌.

---------------------

Work is more or less the same. Nothing new or interesting happening lately. I'll graduate in another 1 more year and was wondering if I should commit myself to this organization? Bettre not! Considering how disorganize and immature my superiors can be. Yawnz. Where oh where should I venture too? A small but promising place maybe?

Off to bed.. sleeeeeeeeeeeepy.

不能说的秘密

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
又何必去改变 已错过的时间
你用你的指尖 阻止说我再见
想象你在身边 在完全失去之前
你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现 这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

-----------

spent $144 today. Faints. But But... I'm in contro!!

i miss steamboat buffet.
i miss shiok drink nights with you

liverpool liverpool liverpool

what's wrong with you?

by December 2009

I plan to save up for 3 items after getting December's pay and AWS which comes early during December :D

1. Chao Ta's X'ms Present
3. A mini Braun Buffel Wallet
2. A Coach Wrislet

Estimated pocket damage.. $500 or less.

---------------

I've finally worked in an organization for 1 year plus. What an achievement! :P However, I'm planning to tender in April 2010 if the workload for next year proves too much for me to handle. 2010 is going to be a hetic year, with the huge responsibility of preparing the little ones for Primary education, involving myself in K2 kid's camp and year end concert, and the line up of modules and assignments, I can see myself having breakouts very often. *crosses- fingers*

Hoefully, after my Diploma course, I can continue to do my Masters. Getting a degree is SO DAMN EXPENSIVE!!! $27, 820. With that kind of money, I can easily hold a 28 table wedding dinner banquet at The Regent Hotel and still have 3K+ leftover for a honeymoon. And you think getting a degree is just simple as paying the fees and you can get in? NO WAY! One still has to complete a 2- 3 page essay and 2 referals. What the ****! I guess that's the price to pay(no pun intended) in order for me to be on par with the standards of nowadays and to make sure I gain foothold in the early childhood education sector.

Despite my great wish to do my Masters, my priority is to hold my wedding dinner. I want to officially announce to my family and friends that Chao ta is my husband, and most importantly to be proudly married into the Chau family so that I won't be look down upon by __________.

Chao Ta: Walao, who will look down on you?!
Me: Maybe I am sensitive, but just for assurance, I want to have a proper and semi- grand wedding dinner or lunch.

oh, oh, oh and fufil my wish of wearing an evening gown made by my Aunty Alice, and having my grandparents to wittness my wedding and having the oppoprtunity to drink the chinese tea offered by me and their grandson-in-law :D

aim: to hold my wedding dinner by 4th quater of 2011 or 1st quater of 2012.

Hopefully I can tio a $30K 4D den I can hold my wedding on 4May2011 :D
Maybe I should invest 1223 $5 every wed, sat and sun.
*ponders, ponders, ponders*

------------

Was flipping through the novel "The Picture of Dorian Gray"b by Oscar Wilde and found this rather interesting.

" The ugly and the stupid have the best of it in this world. The can sit at their ease and gape at the play. If they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared from the knowledge of defeat. They live as we all should live, undisturbed, indifferent and without disquiet. They neither bring ruin upon others, nor ever recieve it from alien hands..."

What do you think?
I'm just happy being avergage.

---------------

Time to go to bed.
Sleepy and sicly.


do you hear me talking to you,
across the water across the deep blue ocean, under the open sky
oh my! baby i'm trying.

boy i hear you in my dreams
i feel you whisper across the sea
keep you with me in my heart, you make it easier when life gets hard.

lucky i'm in love with my best friend
lucky to have been where i have been
lucky to be coming home again.

(Lucky- Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat)


I miss Chao Ta. Can't wait for him to come back so that i can irritate the shit out of him by constantly whinning, wriggling and randomness. HAHAHHAHHAAHAHAH!

Just 10 more days ....

i want

i want to instantly have $208 so that i can purchase the estee lauder makeup set. but i know it's impossible, and i am not allowed to use the credit card this month because next month i have to pay some stuffs. SAD:( it's suppose to be a very good buy! i shall wait till next year nov. cos it's a per year thing. haiz!!

sad to be a poor teacher
sux to have no extra $$

----------

it's like even if you are free you oso have no time for me. sometimes i wan talk to you, then you just want to quickly end the discussion with me.

it's so hard sometimes to communicate with you...

but but but... ... ...
whenever you are not around, i miss you so much and love you more then when you are around. i'm so silly sometimes and i feel like i'm dunno talking what nonsense.

happy being alone

Anti- social is such a general term to describe people who doesn't like to socialize or have little friends. I for many times been described as anti- social by some. But I'm not! One thing straight I can talk and mingle with strangers, I just avoid forming close friendships with anyone because I find that having best friends requires too much commitment and effort and therefore havaing 1 or 2 is more than enough.

Oh, and recently I find that I am surrounded by stupid people who thinks that he or she is really good or talented or smart. I feel like telling them staright off into their faces that they are just plain stupid. OK. I know i'm so evil. But really la, some peoplee just irks you.

a question

Chao Ta asked me a random question few days ago.

"What is the 1 thing you'll ask from Santa?"

Somehow, this random and common question got me thinking for a few days. What do I really want? I guess majority would agree that just 1 request is never enough and they'll probably use the 1 request to ask for more requests; I am just like the majority. There are so many things I wish I could have right now and I could classify them as the impossible, the probably and the able to.

Impossible
- A time machine to go back in time, to make all the wrongs right again. I use to say I never regreted all the things I did in the past, but after much thought... I DO REGRET!!! If I can have a time machine, I'll go back in time and put in more effort in Secondary School, complete my Diploma in Nursing and continue to do my degree in Nursing overseas and finally working overseas.
- my own home with my husband and kids only
- my loved ones to forever and ever be around
- the Pre- school sector's pay can be proportionate to our qualifications, and our benefits will be as good or at least be comparable to that of a construction worker

Probably
- travel to all the countries on my 'places i want to visit before I die list'
- set up my own childcare centre/ kindergraten
- Tag Heur watch
- be a part- time housewife
- wedding dinner
- Bachelor of Science in Early Childhood Education

Able To
- Burberry wallet
- Longchamp Le Pilage long handle
- COACH wrislet
- Masters of Science in Early Childhood Education

WOW!! That's indeed a long list of things which I will ask from Santa. Out of the so many things I wish I could have, it would be my loved ones to be with me forever.

It's always the impossible that one would wish for because you hope that with the help of some magical fairy dust that wish of yours would come true as it is beyond your physical means to achieve it.
:
:
:

As for my able to's, I'll thank Chao Ta in advance :P
just joking :D

how to??

so noisy how to sleep

passwords passwords passwords.
TO HELL WITH IT MAN!!!

and i guess it doesn't matter if i tell you what bothers me cos it's just another 'FYI' to you.

i'm very tired of quarelling with you. nowadays i feel that going back to my own home is the happiest thing in my life. i'm worried that one of these days even facing you and communicating with you will be a stressful situation for me.

for the 3rd time i am left to go home by myself and you did not even BOTHER to ask me to stay. it doesn't matter if i leave in anger or what. it's you didn't ask me to stay. and that's hurts.
suprisingly this time round i didn't cry anymore. maybe i'm not bothered by it or just like you i can't be bothered le.

i'm very tired

fractured arm is haunting me

I guess I have to schedule for an X-ray appointment soon. Whenever I try to lift my right arm, it hurts. Not the joints that is hurting but the bone. It has the similar pain when my fractured humerus bone was injured when I was still in secondary school. The hurt came when I fell and hit it against the school's cupboard.

Anyway, constipation sucks. But it's a monthly ordeal I have to go through just before seeing red. It's bad enough with the day time sleepiness, nausea and bloated tummy. The constipation worsens it. All these makes me feel lousy, moody and terrible. I really wish I can oblige but I just have no mood for anything when the time is near.

-----

Celebrated Nic's 21st birthday. It was very heartwarming scene. She broke out in tears- probably the thought of how much her parents did for her for the past 21 years makes her teary. So sweet rite?

My 21st was well celebarted with my family. It was a very memorable experience. I thanked my Grandpa for paying the meal at Swensens and my relatives and cousins for celebrating my birthday. Come to think of it, my family make it an effort to celebrate my birthday every year and I appreciate it very much. And for the past 23 years, grandma without fail, made red eggs and cooked noodles.

Sometimes i dare not think of what my life will be when Grandma and Grandpa goes to heaven. I'll be devastated! Chao Ta once said that my grandparents love for me can never match up a mother's love for their own child. But I beg to differ. I feel that my grandparents loved me in many ways much more than any parents could ever do. It's what I called selfless love, especially my grandma, she has always been there for me, in ways which I failed to notice at times. Sometimes I feel that I'm not doing enough to repay my grandparents. Hopefully God gives me enough time to do so.

I really love them.

regrets

i have made too mnay wrong moves and made too mnay mistakes. and recently, i feel that the mistakes i make just keep snowballing

courage

One needs the courage to step into unfamiliar grounds. I really would love to drop all cares and woes, equippied myself with a few grands in my pocket and back pack round the world or at least to the must see countries on my list with a like minded friend. Sadly, I'm not able to do that because, I don't have such like minded friend. I guess Chao Ta will sure say you don't have that few grands too. Then I'll answer him: "If i wan i will". The question is ARE YOU WILLING TO TRAVEL WITH ME???

This are the places I want to visit before I go up to heaven:
1. japan
2. russia
3. germany
4. amsterdam
6. usa
7. london

and my latest edition:
7. greece

after my business is done in SG (2011 FEB)
i'll leave on a jet plane and dunno when i'll be back again

Insomnia

Couldn't sleep well the whole night, there were just too many thoughts in my mind. Terrible feeling to be troubled and worried. Thank God, prayers did make things better. I was able to calm my mind and gradually fall asleep after tossing and turning for quite some time.

I just hope that whatever Chao Ta's disappointment will turn out well in the end.

--------
80 more days to year end. I was calculating when should I tender my resignation letter considering Chinese New Year to be around mid Feb 2010. Maybe I'll tender end March. However if I don't get a full 13th month Bonus (AWS) I would definietly tender on the 2 Jan 2010. And tell them to kiss my arse. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I actually don't mind staying on for another year, but sadly, the place is DISORGANIZE IN ALL ASPECTS. Apparently, my in- charge is such a last minute and doesn't have an open mind, which makes things worse. Sucky! And some of my colleagues are just plainly put LAZY and WITHOUT INITIATIVES.

Sadly, I've to go work today cause it's staff training. How wonderful! *rolls- eyes a million times*
8am- 4pm is going to feel like forever to me. However, i'll try my best to find joy.. TRY!!!

爱不疚- 林峰

遥远是宇宙 静静在背后 去看守就够

这种感觉太亲厚 讲一千句也不够
即使一刹有过冲动 挽你手
这种恋爱太罕有 不需真正拥有
成全 多舍不得仍然 是放手

放手 放开所有 彼此更自由
放手 其实我绝非爱得不够
放手 豁出所有 还有这个好友
已经 已经足够

放手 我的牵挂 找不到尽头
放手 期望你幸福甚麽都有
也许 爱很深厚 然而我早看得透
放手 至可拥有

---

这首歌真好听
虽然不怎么觉得林峰帅，但还是有种淡淡的魅力让我好想看他演的港局
但我的最爱还是 陳鍵鋒 :D

---

最近都很不开心， 为什么有些事总是在你不注意的时候悄悄的浮现在你脑海里迟迟都不肯离去？有时很想把脑袋的一部分给去掉，希望这就是最直接和最好能够把不开心和纳闷的记忆给弄掉。好讨厌举棋不定的我！希望不快乐能够早点离开。也希望你能对我别那么凶，那么没礼貌。我也希望我们俩能有多一点的活动因为我真开始觉得有点闷和无趣乏味。

sad

I've been rather emotional since last weekend. Apparently, it seemed like a passing phase to some. I'm really very troubled. For several reasons which I don't think telling anyone would help, cause no one ever really listened to my problems to care enough to help me accept for Steph. Probably my smiley facade is working too well.

I need a breather. I want to disappear. Can I borrow some time? A little crazinesss...

Probably I'm a person full of complains and whinning in your eyes, but if you truely understand what I want and what I need, you would realise that there are certain things which you have missed out and my request ain't selfish.

Although I have you, but i feel alone still. It's like all I have is your shadow, but not you.

Contentment

Sometimes I'm contented and greatful for what I have, but I guess, I just can't help but feel lacking and disappointed with the things I cannot have.

Anyway, glad to hear his mum is willing to stay in with us when we get our own house. I don't mind, but i wish that she won't join us too soon. I wan to enjoy ER REN SHI JIE for awhile la.

just wabt to be home

I seem to dread coming to Chao Ta's place more and more. As much as I wish to see him and spend time with him, I dislike being at his house. It makes me uncomfortable, strange and uptight. A ver uneasy and stressful weekend for me. Hopefully the situation will improve once his sister moves out. It's very upsetting to be greeting someone and not being acknowledged. First is his sister, now is the mum. They probably think I'm the one with a problem. What to do, at least we are on civil terms. Haizzzz.....

Anyway I don't feel happy recently. I've never felt as sad as I am today for quite some time. Maybe becuase I'm bored, maybe because I'm broke or maybe because I'm torubled by many things which I'm unaware about.

I miss being young and carefree. I miss being a teenager. You know how like when you are younger, nothing else really matters but just to have fun. Have spontaneous fun in life, have spontaneous fun in a relationship. Somehow I find that missing in my life now. Sometimes I really wish to just disappear for a period of time and go do random things which I like. Then again, I don't have that kind of money now. I guess once inawhile, I'll feel moody about not being able to get that bag, or that shirt becuase of the miserable pay I'm getting from my job which requires so much of my energy and time.

I wish to go Ion Orchard with you. I know that seeing me so upset you will agree. But I dun want you to bring but at the back of your mind worried about parkng charges, ERP, etc..I'll be able to sense it and it's just going to make me upset further. Public transport for you is out of the way. So I guess, I'll just think of some other way out to entertain myself.

Can I have a teddy bear please?

Brain Spasm

wonder if the human brain can go into spasm or have cramps like muscles.

???

SKLAP

Super bored with work and maybe with this monotonous rythm of life.

I don't like what i am doing now. Then again, I've never enjoyed working. I'm not lazy. I'll still work if I have to.

Resentment

Recently I feel a sense resentment towards my job. I use to love children very much, but after working at that particular childcare I just feel like getting myself as far away from children as possible, to the point I find children a little disgusting.

The situation doesn't help with such one irritating collegue whom everyone hates due to her uncouth, rude and irresponsible work attitude. What's worse, 'someone' is rather useless I feel. She just wants to be the good guy in our environment, thus doesn't bother to speak to her. A good leader is one who listens to suggestions and make improvements, but sadly, mine doesn't. She frowns upon suggestions, doesn't encourage your honest opinion that something which she planned is not working(despite seeing it for herself), and worse, constant missing in action.

Now the working environment is a living nightmare. Disorganized, shorthanded despite having 30 odd staff where other schools runs perfectly well with only 9. Weak curriculum and lousy worksheets which i'm not afraid to say it although I'm not fully trained.

C'mon, 4 more months to year end. Afterwhich I can take my AWS and RUNNNNN!!! Or should I say ESCAPE!!!

Then again, AWS is performance based. WTF! Alreadie we are quite pathetic without year end bonus, now our AWS is what?! Performance based. Wonderful. Not that I worry I'm not up to expectations, just that I find it.. STUPID!

Please make time past quickly, cos it's like crawling so slowly. I'll be off to work in 1hrs time. This 1 hr is a struggle for me. I feel like killing myself. ARGHH!!

I Want To Live With You

Although living apart has its perks, but I find that a married couple living togther only over the weekends is WEIRD!

I want to have our own house, and I want to stay with you. However, I'm also in a dilenma. As much as you wish to live near your mum, I would want to live ner my grandparents. It's so tough a decision to make. Yesterday, while I was at your place, my ah gong fell down at home. Though not serious and no cuts and bruises, I can't help but feel guilty something like that happen because I'm not at home. I really feel very very stucked.. What am I to do?

Even if we were to move somewhere near.. but near where? Near your mum? Near my grandparents? I understand that I'm married to you, and in Chinese customs, the girl should follow the guy, but I can't help but tend to be a little selfish, and I believe you will be a little selfish too. Now you know why I always hope that your Mum will want to stay with your sis? Not that I'm being unreasonable or I dun wish to take care of her, but it's a good solution. We can still ask her out once in awhile. But as far as I know, your mum wishes to remain in CCK. Haiz.. how how how?

God, please help me out here...

Doesn't Matter

Recently I'm just can't be bothered to even argue to prove my point and make you understand my point anymore. It's frustrating enough that I don't seem to get your full attention whenever we are going out and now you feel that I am just fussing over something really minor.

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Sadly, I've missed watching 4 movies. Sux. Hopefully Youtube has it in like a few months time. HaHa!

Exhaustion

2 grueling weeks is finally coming to an end!!! How wonderful!!!

I've been busy completeing assignments, preparing a very important person's birthday, rushing to finish up my children's Term 3 activity book and some random stuffs which I can't even recall. Absolutely draining me out. As much as I hate to say this but I'm really a 10hr sleeper; the recommended 8hrs has never been quite sufficient to keep me re- energized after a hard day's work. However, for the past 2 weeks, I've been way behind recommended sleeping hour what more my body's requirement of 10hr sleep. Yesterday was the worst. I only slept like 2hrs. So, I'll probably fall asleep pretty soon. Can't wait for the weekends to come and follow- by my Monday and Tuesday OFFs!! Yippie.

Will be staying in Fairmount with Chao Ta over the weekends. It's his birthday gift, together with a Man U Jersey which he requested la. Well, although I'm a working adult, but my miserable pay is pathetically saved up, SO I DID PRESENT U AN EXPENSIVE K!! I totally busted my budget on this one. So please love me more and close one eye about the pimple cream I 'tricked' you into buying... Hahahahahah!!! COS I'm DEAD BROKE. :P

Off to bed..

神雕侠侣

这部戏勾起了好多有趣的回忆... 哈哈！李铭顺和范文芳版的神雕侠侣首次播出，我应该只有 10 or 12 years old. 我的天啊！That's 11 years ago. 那时的我是多么疯狂范文芳和那部戏。当时美洲的杂志都有神雕侠侣的封面。所以我花掉了零用钱积极的狂买狂收集，把里面有关的内容和图片都剪了下来，贴在一本书里。回想起觉得好好小啊！

Random Musings

还隐隐作痛　还记得你笑容
这回忆多麽沉重　宁愿没有过
还隐隐作痛　还看见你放手
这回忆多麽美丽　刺痛我心头


偶然地情况下听到了这首歌。好好听啊！Sydney thought it was really nice too, and she happened to hear it from the TV at the same time as me.

明天做了指甲后我会和好朋友一起吃午餐。好久没见到她了，她终于留学回来了。虽然我们的友谊随着时间慢慢的淡化了，但我非常开心能够有她这位朋友。希望她永远幸福快乐

也希望你永远幸福快乐 :)

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有时觉得生活好平凡无畏，但有时又觉得这平平的生活很舒服。好矛盾啊！也许人生就是要你在不完美中找寻完美，回忆中找寻力量还有现实中找寻梦想。

一山不能藏二虎

一山不能藏二虎，但你的山洞里却有三只。不天下大乱才怪！俗话说得好，相见容易相处难...

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We've decided to get a place of our own. It is for the sake of our relationship and to save us anymore unecessary trouble and inconvenience. That's good news for me!

Although I'm dying to have my own place, I do worry for his mum as she'll be alone. And living alone in a big house is no joke. Moreover, she doesn't seem like someone who can take good care of herself. Haiz.. it's such a difficult decision to make. Actually I don't mind if she stays with us in OUR house that is. Liek the saying goes... 寄人篱下的感觉一点都不好. At least I can do as I wish in my own home and she can't comment. As for her, as long as she doesn't mess up my place, watse electricity and contribute either monetory or effort I don't really mind.

Sorry but I don't really like SPONGER in my circle of life.

Limit

YOU HAVE TOTALLY CROSSED MY LINE OF TOLERANCE!!!

I'VE NEVR QUITE SEEN ANYONE AS STUPID, RETARDED, BRAINLESS AND SNOBBISH AS YOU!!! TMD.

老娘不发火当我做病猫。我是看在老公和你妈的面子上才没给你一点颜色看。被把我给惹火了，否则我会六亲不认的把你臭骂一顿。

ANGRY TO THE MAX MAN!!!
^&*(%^(*

Last but not least, I don't understand why someone with such education don't have basic common sense to throw used pad into the dustbin. FOR GOODNESS SAKE, ONLY PPL LIKE YOU WILL THROW PAD DOWN THE TOILET BOWL OK!!!

DARE TO DO DUN DARE TO ADMIT, STILL WANT TO SAY ME!! CHEEBYE!!!

I AM BROUGHT UP TO WRAP MY USED PAD IN AN ENVELOPE AND THROW IT I THE BIN HOR!!! UNLIKE YOU!!! DISGUSTING WOMAND!!!

Spaced Out

My mind is sort of always at a blank state. Staring into space, day dreaming and not focusing has been plaguing me; noticed by classmates and ChaoTa. I can be busy doing something and the next second I just spaced out. Like a mediocre blue tooth mouse; one moment it works perfectly well and the next it looses connection.

What's happening to me? Signs of old age? Mmm... ok.. talking nonsense..

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"It's hard being left behind. I wait for Henry, not knowing where he is, wondering if he's okay. It's hard to be the one who stays." ~~ Clare (Time Traveler's Wife)

I want to read the book and catch the movie (starring the ever so lovely Rachel McAdams, one of my favorite Hollywood actress). I'm sure it's going to be filled with 'Kleenex' moments.

New Friends

Went drinking with Mr. Lai and Melissa straight after our exam. It was a quiet drinking place at Siglap. Mr. Lai was the one who brought us there; something different from the usual life band pubs which I go to with Melissa. Quiet but nice.

I enjoyed the company. Although Mr. Lai is much older than us (he could pass of as our Dad), but he’s very easy to talk to. He shared many things with us which I consider inspirational and certain things which he said I seriously agreed. Sometimes, you just need someone who has been there done that to share their experiences to make you feel assured that you are not on the wrong track. Mahjong and drinking session soon k!

Being out of the norm, doesn’t mean you are wrong I guess.

Chao Ta was saying that I can be such a loner at times. I do agree that I am since I don’t know when. Maybe, it’s time for some changes. I should reach out rather then wait. I should remember that looking back isn’t for the sake of feeling sad and regretful, but rather a chance for you to learn, move on and improve. I always know this fact all along, but failed to put it into practice. Maybe it’s time I should just exercise it. Maybe I should just start with WeeKiang and Jasper. HaHa!!

I love my life, I love Chao Ta, I love my family and I love God.

Possibility of My Own Home?

Seriously, nothing beats having your own place to leave in. Unfortunately, I might never get the opportunity to do so because my husband is the only son and his mum is like all alone. Not complaining la, when I agreed to marry him, I already know that it’s an unavoidable issue. I know Chao Ta will be worried if he has to leave his mum alone and that won’t make him happy. I guess somehow, sacrifices have to be made. Let’s just pray that if I do have to leave in with his mum, things will work out right.

Recently, I’m feeling rather vexed. I’m not happy but I don’t know why? I guess it has got something to do with ‘You’. It’s always the case when I’m feeling emo. This SUX!!!

GOSH!! Is my ear playing trick on me? Coz I just heard on TV that Freddie Prince Jr., one of my favourite actors, is a HUGE FAN OF WWE. -.-“ And he’s like co- hosting summer slam 2009 like right now. How EWWWWWW!!! And then some guy appears while he is blabbering a whole load of ‘opening speech’ and started acting happily to entertain the audience. Which reminds me a little of MTV Movie Awards where stars do some funny skits to make the audience laugh.

OK. Whatever.

Exams in 2 more days and I’m only like 40% prepared. I’m such a procrastinator.
BAD!!!

Today Chao Ta brought me to Clementi. That place brings back so many nice memories too. I use to play badminton with Sydney and another friend called Hwee Ping in the Clementi Sports Hall. So fun.

Nostalgia

I’ve wasted a day. Instead of preparing for my exams, my mind is pre-occupied about some other stuff which is totally random and unnecessary. What was I thinking of? Gosh!! Wakeup Girl!!

I’m dying to go カラオケ. Fingers crossed, mouth sealed :X Probably Chao Ta will bring me for KLunch tomorrow. I want to visit the new KBox at Safra Jurong. It’s new and by reading on its deco and facilities (http://www.kbox.com.sg/Location.aspx?u=13) just makes me wanna go down and sing some songs. ~~ LaLaLaLaLa~~ Recently I’m so addicted to songs of the 90’s; both English and Mandarin. It brings back a sense of nostalgia which brings smile to my face each time I link each song to a certain incident which happen during my Primary school days. Those wonderful memories of my childhood, which never failed to put a silly smile on my face.

I used to have a friend in Primary 6, who would chat with me for several hours on the phone. It was record breaking 14hrs long. And because I was still regarded as too young to go out with friends, I have to resort to watching a pre- recorded movie over the phone with my friend who so happen to have the VCD. Quite a surprise that I do have such a friend? Of course I did, sadly, we failed to keep in contact as time goes by and I don’t even know how to contact this friend now.
I guess it’s all these ridiculous stuff we did during childhood days which will leave a lasting impression in our mind till the day we leave planet earth. Not a bad thing afterall...

Anway, Fulham Vs. Chelsea now. 87mins into the game and the score is 0:2. Who cares? I’m a Liverpool supporter! HaHa!

You’ll never walk alone… Yeah Yeah Yeah! Lirong loves Gerrard.

Exams, Friendship and My Life So Far

The last time I really studied for an exam would be 6 years ago, when I was still a student at NYP. I thought studying days were over when I dropped out of school; here I am, 6 years later, killing my brain cells, trying to remember a load full of information on early intervention for children with special needs. Then again, from my exam notes, studying doesn’t really kills brain cells, apparently it ‘awakens’ them. Unfortunately, my brain cells are just like me, ‘special’ therefore it dies upon 50% of work.

Ok, excuses, I’m just lazy! Hey, whoever in the world loves exams man? Maybe there is, but it should be the minorities right?

2hrs into studying, I already feel like hitting the sack. I’m so tired! Guess I’ll have to continue tomorrow. Luckily Chao Ta isn’t in town, if not it would be another form of distraction apart from my enticing bed. He left for a 1 day road trip to Malaysia- Malacca. He’ll be back tomorrow evening. Wonder what is he doing now? According to him, I was sleep- talking last night. He couldn’t really make out what I was saying though. Hmm, I guess it’s got to do with the discomfort of a hot and stuffy room, wearing a hair band to bed (which he didn’t take remove for me) and forgetting to brush my teeth.

Anyway we were talking about friendships and friends last night. Well, I guess it’s quite obvious by now that I’m a loner by choice. Somehow, I find friendships quite a chore to maintain and honestly it’s a really huge commitment. Luckily for me, despite my seemingly can’t be bothered nature, I still have 2 friends. Stefanie and Sydney. Although the latter seemed to give me a ‘there but not there feel’. Well of course, like in any other relationships, there is no obligation that it has to be everlasting but it’ll be better if it could be as long as possible.

I do believe all things happen for a reason, and I got to accept the fact that it is God’s intricate plan to allow certain things to happen; which brings me to where I am today; finding joy with my work, family and Chao Ta, and learning about, love, appreciation, self- control, freedom and responsibility.

但是我这美好的人生总会有一个遗憾.