Contentment

Sometimes I'm contented and greatful for what I have, but I guess, I just can't help but feel lacking and disappointed with the things I cannot have.

Anyway, glad to hear his mum is willing to stay in with us when we get our own house. I don't mind, but i wish that she won't join us too soon. I wan to enjoy ER REN SHI JIE for awhile la.

just wabt to be home

I seem to dread coming to Chao Ta's place more and more. As much as I wish to see him and spend time with him, I dislike being at his house. It makes me uncomfortable, strange and uptight. A ver uneasy and stressful weekend for me. Hopefully the situation will improve once his sister moves out. It's very upsetting to be greeting someone and not being acknowledged. First is his sister, now is the mum. They probably think I'm the one with a problem. What to do, at least we are on civil terms. Haizzzz.....

Anyway I don't feel happy recently. I've never felt as sad as I am today for quite some time. Maybe becuase I'm bored, maybe because I'm broke or maybe because I'm torubled by many things which I'm unaware about.

I miss being young and carefree. I miss being a teenager. You know how like when you are younger, nothing else really matters but just to have fun. Have spontaneous fun in life, have spontaneous fun in a relationship. Somehow I find that missing in my life now. Sometimes I really wish to just disappear for a period of time and go do random things which I like. Then again, I don't have that kind of money now. I guess once inawhile, I'll feel moody about not being able to get that bag, or that shirt becuase of the miserable pay I'm getting from my job which requires so much of my energy and time.

I wish to go Ion Orchard with you. I know that seeing me so upset you will agree. But I dun want you to bring but at the back of your mind worried about parkng charges, ERP, etc..I'll be able to sense it and it's just going to make me upset further. Public transport for you is out of the way. So I guess, I'll just think of some other way out to entertain myself.

Can I have a teddy bear please?

Brain Spasm

wonder if the human brain can go into spasm or have cramps like muscles.

???

SKLAP

Super bored with work and maybe with this monotonous rythm of life.

I don't like what i am doing now. Then again, I've never enjoyed working. I'm not lazy. I'll still work if I have to.

Resentment

Recently I feel a sense resentment towards my job. I use to love children very much, but after working at that particular childcare I just feel like getting myself as far away from children as possible, to the point I find children a little disgusting.

The situation doesn't help with such one irritating collegue whom everyone hates due to her uncouth, rude and irresponsible work attitude. What's worse, 'someone' is rather useless I feel. She just wants to be the good guy in our environment, thus doesn't bother to speak to her. A good leader is one who listens to suggestions and make improvements, but sadly, mine doesn't. She frowns upon suggestions, doesn't encourage your honest opinion that something which she planned is not working(despite seeing it for herself), and worse, constant missing in action.

Now the working environment is a living nightmare. Disorganized, shorthanded despite having 30 odd staff where other schools runs perfectly well with only 9. Weak curriculum and lousy worksheets which i'm not afraid to say it although I'm not fully trained.

C'mon, 4 more months to year end. Afterwhich I can take my AWS and RUNNNNN!!! Or should I say ESCAPE!!!

Then again, AWS is performance based. WTF! Alreadie we are quite pathetic without year end bonus, now our AWS is what?! Performance based. Wonderful. Not that I worry I'm not up to expectations, just that I find it.. STUPID!

Please make time past quickly, cos it's like crawling so slowly. I'll be off to work in 1hrs time. This 1 hr is a struggle for me. I feel like killing myself. ARGHH!!

I Want To Live With You

Although living apart has its perks, but I find that a married couple living togther only over the weekends is WEIRD!

I want to have our own house, and I want to stay with you. However, I'm also in a dilenma. As much as you wish to live near your mum, I would want to live ner my grandparents. It's so tough a decision to make. Yesterday, while I was at your place, my ah gong fell down at home. Though not serious and no cuts and bruises, I can't help but feel guilty something like that happen because I'm not at home. I really feel very very stucked.. What am I to do?

Even if we were to move somewhere near.. but near where? Near your mum? Near my grandparents? I understand that I'm married to you, and in Chinese customs, the girl should follow the guy, but I can't help but tend to be a little selfish, and I believe you will be a little selfish too. Now you know why I always hope that your Mum will want to stay with your sis? Not that I'm being unreasonable or I dun wish to take care of her, but it's a good solution. We can still ask her out once in awhile. But as far as I know, your mum wishes to remain in CCK. Haiz.. how how how?

God, please help me out here...

Doesn't Matter

Recently I'm just can't be bothered to even argue to prove my point and make you understand my point anymore. It's frustrating enough that I don't seem to get your full attention whenever we are going out and now you feel that I am just fussing over something really minor.

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Sadly, I've missed watching 4 movies. Sux. Hopefully Youtube has it in like a few months time. HaHa!

Exhaustion

2 grueling weeks is finally coming to an end!!! How wonderful!!!

I've been busy completeing assignments, preparing a very important person's birthday, rushing to finish up my children's Term 3 activity book and some random stuffs which I can't even recall. Absolutely draining me out. As much as I hate to say this but I'm really a 10hr sleeper; the recommended 8hrs has never been quite sufficient to keep me re- energized after a hard day's work. However, for the past 2 weeks, I've been way behind recommended sleeping hour what more my body's requirement of 10hr sleep. Yesterday was the worst. I only slept like 2hrs. So, I'll probably fall asleep pretty soon. Can't wait for the weekends to come and follow- by my Monday and Tuesday OFFs!! Yippie.

Will be staying in Fairmount with Chao Ta over the weekends. It's his birthday gift, together with a Man U Jersey which he requested la. Well, although I'm a working adult, but my miserable pay is pathetically saved up, SO I DID PRESENT U AN EXPENSIVE K!! I totally busted my budget on this one. So please love me more and close one eye about the pimple cream I 'tricked' you into buying... Hahahahahah!!! COS I'm DEAD BROKE. :P

Off to bed..

神雕侠侣

这部戏勾起了好多有趣的回忆... 哈哈！李铭顺和范文芳版的神雕侠侣首次播出，我应该只有 10 or 12 years old. 我的天啊！That's 11 years ago. 那时的我是多么疯狂范文芳和那部戏。当时美洲的杂志都有神雕侠侣的封面。所以我花掉了零用钱积极的狂买狂收集，把里面有关的内容和图片都剪了下来，贴在一本书里。回想起觉得好好小啊！

Random Musings

还隐隐作痛　还记得你笑容
这回忆多麽沉重　宁愿没有过
还隐隐作痛　还看见你放手
这回忆多麽美丽　刺痛我心头


偶然地情况下听到了这首歌。好好听啊！Sydney thought it was really nice too, and she happened to hear it from the TV at the same time as me.

明天做了指甲后我会和好朋友一起吃午餐。好久没见到她了，她终于留学回来了。虽然我们的友谊随着时间慢慢的淡化了，但我非常开心能够有她这位朋友。希望她永远幸福快乐

也希望你永远幸福快乐 :)

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有时觉得生活好平凡无畏，但有时又觉得这平平的生活很舒服。好矛盾啊！也许人生就是要你在不完美中找寻完美，回忆中找寻力量还有现实中找寻梦想。