Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Adam Lambert- what do you want from me

Hey, slow it down
What do you want from me
What do you want from me
Yeah, I’m afraid
What do you want from me
What do you from me

There might have been a time
I would give myself away
Once upon a time
I didn’t give a damn
But now here we are
So what do you want from me

What do you want from me

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me

What do you want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see
that baby you’re beautiful
And it’s nothing wrong with you
It’s me – I’m a freak
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try but I think
you could save my life

Monday, February 22, 2010

what use?

not a listener

not a comforter

so what are you?

what use is it if i cannot confide in you?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Another Channal?

It has been my dream to be a nurse. But I gave up that dream because of childish reasons, which was a shame. But I still wish to help others. Maybe God gave me a chance to work with young children which drives my passion to help children with special needs.

After I finish my Diploma and Degree in Early Childhood Education, I would like to go into Early Intervention for Children.

:)

that's my goal.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Unhappy

Lately I feel very sad. Not happy at all. It's been a long time since I feel happy about something related to me. Eversince that day I had an arguement with Chao Ta the feeling is worse now.

Maybe I should just face the fact that not everyone can be like some of the people whom I met in my life who can treat ppl out of their family with so much love, care and concern.

Maybe some time alone will do me good at this pt of time. I feel that I dunno who I am recently. Can I mummified myself?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Pretty Woman

Heard great reviews about the movie and after such a long long time, I finally got a chance to watch it. Old movie but great movie. So sweet and romantic. Funny too. Now I know, where one of my favorite song Fallen by Lauren Wood comes from.

I must say, Julia Roberts looks darn captivating in the show, and after Pierce Brosnan, Richard Gere is defineitly the next 'mature' man I think is CHARMINGGGGGG!!!!

I want to own the DVD/ VCD for this movie.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Heart of Worship

I wouldn't call my belief a religion. It's a Relationship.

It's time to go back into the heart of worship. I've never been going to church regularly, but that doesn't make me a bad christian. God loves me still, and I know he would be glad to see me back in church again, which I WILL.

I prayed, he answered and showed me the way. Once again, Lord has helped me. I am blessed in many ways.

I hope Chao Ta will open his heart. He doesn't have to believe but just give it a chance. Your wrong impression of Christianity is not God's fault but the person who gave u the wrong feeling. Therefore, look at things with an open mind. I am blessed with alot of good things in life (family love and support, you might say I am very fortunate) and I hope that you too can one day recieve the same kind of blessing as I do form God.

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Last Saturday Chao Ta brought me to Kent Ridge Park after dinner. It was ermm.. FAR FROM ROMANTIC but i'll give u stars for effort la. HaHa!!

One day, just one day, I hope to feel that you are proud to have me and that you can take the effort to impress me like how u would if we were dating.

As for me, I'll learn to be more WISE with money and decision making. Or rather not be SO RASH!!! I guess most of time m mistakes made is beacuse i am too RASH!! I must learn to give myslef time to think through.

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Being husband and wife is really not simple. I am willing to learn are you?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

:(

Why is it you are always complaining about me. You kept mentioning Why I this, Why I that? Have you thought Why you are not like this Why you are not like that. Look at what I said and what you said.

You crazy or what suddenly bring your friend into the picture. For your information, I never don't accept your friends. If I don't accept I would have stop you from even hanging out with him. I didn't even do it. You go drink with them, go bowling with them, I also never even say anything lor. (feeling WRONGED again)

One can only hear negative things about themselves for a limited time. Day in day out I only hear you painting a bad picture on everything I say or do. In the end I just want to shut off from everything that comes out of your mouth. How many times I ask you to talk nicely to me. I ask you question you can just answer straight to the point don't so sacrastic. Did you? You also give me the can't be bothered attitude what. So same lor, last time I listen to all you say, but you always give me this attitude until I sian, I do the same back to you.

If the opinion fo others matters to you? Why didn't it occur to you that storming out of the bedroom will make people think? Using your phone constantly at a wedding is a form of disrespect to your host? Posting up all your thoughts about me on your blog isn't a very good idea? etc.. etc..

You make yourself out in your blog to be so 伟大 towards your mom, towards me. But have you consulted our opinion about you? Honestly, you are one person who is very difficult to get along and handle. Have you wondered why you never get along with your family (including me) but do so very much with your friends? Don't you think it's a problem? If you yourself can't even get along with everyone in your family, how do you expect me to do so?

Take your sister for example, I was quite alright with her to begin with, then later on you had an arguement with her, I had to dun friend her also. Then your mom, you once in awhile argue argue, complain about her, natuarally, you have painted a bad picture of her. Your other family members, I never once heard you say their positive points, so how is it I suppose to have good impression of them when all you mention are their negative. Have I ever mentioned terrible things about my family infront of you? Even your friends, I only hear you talk about their negative characteristics of them. It's like everyone is not good enough for you. Did I say terrible things about Stefanie all the time?

You always feel that what you do or say about us is right.

Why is it you always paint a negative picture about every incident, every situation, everyone? For instance when you say me, I don't like it. I get angry and stuff. But I accept it eventually cos I know you care. Do you do that? In your mind is all about I don't cherish this, I blur, I stupid, I silly, I never get things right, etc..

If I am so terrible in your opinion, why do you still bother to do anything to make up. I will always be a lousy character in your view. Everyone is never good enough for you. Especially me.

Your blog is read by many people, you post all our problems up. My blog is oblivious to my friends. So have you ever wondered how I felt to have other ppl know that we have a problem. Your mom knows, your friends know, we have a problem. Was it everything about me this me that? Try telling them about how you scold and stare at me each time you are angry. Try telling them you prefer to stay at home all the time, and even when i convince you to go out, you are always unhappy. Try telling them the way you always say me stupid and silly. Then let them judge why our relationship becomes so bitter.

You say I am selfish. I think you are no better then me. In fact I don't even feel anything from you that tells me this whole problem could be your fault to. I just feel that I am the cause of it all. Which is what I hate, cos I know I'm not.

If you keep thinking that I am at fault, I am terrible, I am the cause of all your headaches and our arguement. Even if we meet up and talk, it's not going to do any good to the situation.

I am tired. I honestly am. I never expect you to be unltra rich although I just say for fun. I never expect you to be damn creative, always come up with fanciful ideas to entertain me. I never insist you get gifts for me all the time. All I want is someone who can be by my side. Who stands by me, when I am sad or did something wrong he will tell me NICLEY and forgive eventually or when I'm sick can take care of me. But I don't feel that anymore eversince we got married. All I feel is that I am nothing but a prick. I can bear with your nonsense and sucky temper why can't you accept my shortcomings.

I have finish my bit I don't want to say anymore le. I don't need you to judge me. Probabbly, you should go judge yourself first. If you are not full marks then how can you expect other ppl to do so. If you still have the why I this why I that mindset, no matter how much we discuss to salvage this relationship, it doens't help.

It is not easy to be a husband or a son. But if you are willing to humble yourself down, and seek people's opinion, I'm sure it isn't difficult.

I AM NOT ALWAYS DOING SILLY THINGS!!!! 1 CHEQUE INCIDENT AND YOU JUDGE ME BAD, and whatever I did later on is just unpleasent to you. WTF?!

Anything you wan to say please stop posting on your blog le. It makes the situation even worse. In fact I woke up feeling alright feeling positive that things will be better, i can change. But when I saw your blog, I feel that I have been judged permanently, I jitao sian.

Monday, January 11, 2010

我好累

这是我第四次跑回家了
这一次我没哭,反而觉得回家好开心,a sense of relief.

为什么每次吵架,错的总是我?
为什么每次你要求我开心我就得开心,安静就得安静?
如果是你生气就是会记在心里好久好久。

我真得很后悔结婚,可是已成定局所以我设法做好自己的本分,但偶尔还是忽略了一些事情。对其我感到很惭愧,但我真得很努力,但你要看的从来不是努力而是成果。

你说我不尊重你,但你又何曾尊重过我?人人都犯错你不是也会在朋友面前取笑我,在你妈妈面前大声喊我。虽然我不喜欢,也有好好提醒过你, 但最后还不是一样。我有大发雷霆吗?这些你有发觉到吗?

我知道有时会拿你妈来说,我也设法提醒我自己不要那么做。我感到抱歉,但你昨晚突然间发脾气跑到客庭睡,你想一想你妈妈会对我们有什么影像?

今天早上你妈问我为什么我们真天吵?我回答她时,都感到不好意思。他还问我是否我们会离婚收场,如果你是我,现在住我家,我家人这么问你你会好受吗?

我真得很累了,常常我想跟你说我心里想的, 但你总觉得我在针对你?其实我没有,我只是要让你知道我在想什么,让彼此没有误会。说不到几句你就那么激动。

我累了。我也不知道我还爱不爱你?也不确定你爱不爱我?为什么人家结婚,我也结婚,但我总是那么的不快乐,总是在流泪? 我们可以像结婚之前吗?至少当时我们都很快乐,觉得有彼此的陪伴是非常幸福的。

难道一切都是因我而起。

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Rememeber Me This Way

Watched the movie, Casper this afternoon. Totally heart this movie, it never fails to make me tear. It's definietly on MY FAVOURITE MOVIE LIST. Oh, not only was the movie great, the theme song is equally touching.

Here it is, Remember Me This Way:


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Since I mentioned MOVIE LIST, this are the list of movies I love love love. I don;t mind watching it over and over again. In fact, I even watched the same movie back to back. Madness. Who cares... List in no particular order.

- Beauty and the Beast (Disney Version)

- Meet the Robinsons ("keep moving forward")

- A Chinese Ghost Story (nostalgic, lots of sweet memories accompany this movie)

- 17 Again

- A Walk To Remember (the book just like the movie was amazing)

- The Notebook (rachel mcadams. love her)

- A Cinderella Story (typical storyline but still captivates me)

- The Wedding Singer (best on screen chemistry between the 2 fave actor and actress)

- 50 First Dates (needless to say Drew Berrymo and Adam Sandler makes a cute onscreen couple)

- Sweet November (storyline abit ridiculous but still it was very touching)

- City of Angels (meg ryan, totally love her hair in the movie. haha)

- Titanic (classic !!!!!! )

- Armegeddon (fave song in a fave movie, live tyler was so pretty and who can forget the sad father and daughter scene towards the end of the movie)

- Romeo and Juliet (Claire Danes version)

- Casper

- Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (watched Transformers on loop)

- Resident Evil, RE: Apocalypse, RE: Extinction, RE: Afterlife (I'm sure I'll love it)

- Batman Forever (the movie marks the beginning of my love for batman and his batmobile. and not forgetting he is one of those supervillian who doesn't have supernatural powers)

- Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Legolas.. PRECIOUSSSSSSSSS)

- Saving Private Ryan

- Internal Affairs (Andy Lau version; the hollywood remake was sucky)


- James Bond Installments (Pierce Brosnan was the reason why I started to watch the movie, afterwhich I read some of the books, watched some if the older versions. I was initially skeptical when Daniel Craig took over. But he didn't do a terrible job. His potrayed a different side of James Bond- the darker and rough it out side)

- Just Married (Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy, another cute onscreen couple)

- White Chicks (one freaking lame comedy but so damn funny)

- You Don't Mess with the Zohan (brainlessly funny)

-Hangover (you spin my head right round.........)

- Bruce Almighty (meaningful comedy with lots of quotes worth remembering)

- My Best Friends Wedding (sweet romantic comedy)

- Uptown Girls (my favorite actress was in it- Brittany Murphy, such a pity she died so young)

- Shrek, Shrek2 and Shrek the Third (i thought the 3rd installment was the funniest, so many lame moments. totally loving it)

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One meaningful quote from the movie Bruce Almighty

"Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle."

Friday, January 1, 2010

Revamping My Room

Bought new tables and small accessories to organize my table. Got myself a printer at last! Major damage to my pocket- $320. Faints! However, I'm proud of myself to be able to purchase all of these with my own hard earn $$.

The next pay cheque will go to a:
- new book shelf $79
- glass display cabinet $99
- wall mounted shelves $40 (est.)
- curtains (???)
- sofa bed ($70)

After CNY:
- IPHONE !!!

Wish List (long way to go):
- new desktop
- air-con
- TV

can i strike lottery please please please...

2009/ 2010

If only Chao Ta enjoys watching movies as much as I do. Guess I have to find a movie buddy soon because there's so much movies which I would love to catch in 2010.


What does it mean to love somebody?

Read the book almost 2 years ago. It made me tear a few time. Well, a book my Nicholas Sparks, what else do you expect. So far, all the remakes (The Notebook, A Walk To Remember) which I've watched didn't fail me. Therefore, I hope this one will not disappoint me like what 'New Moon' (a remake from a popular book) the movie did.





Star- studded cast! Most of my favorite actresses and actors are in the show; Jennifre Garner, Anne Hathaway, Julia Roberts, Ashton Kutcher!!! Just by watching the trailer, I can tell the show will be hilarious and $9 worthy.




Warewolf and Vampires




Why? Such shows just entices me. Warewolf and vampires.


So far these are the few movies I REALLY WANT TO WATCH in 2010.

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2010 has officially arrived! Yeah!

It's going to be an exciting new year. So looking forward to it. My biggest goal for Year 2010 is to vist Sydeny Australia.

Have been reading the book Lucy in the Sky by Paige Toon twice and I plan to read it the fourth time after I finish Hey Lucy by the same author. In Lucy in the Sky, she mentioned a few places found in Sydney which I totally would love to vist. Eg: Maly Beach. I know that place is a well- known tourist spot, but the book makes me really want to visit it and therefore I shall place it as one of the places I want to vist before I die. Haha!!

Speaking about books, I enjoy Paige Toon's books quite alot. Simple chick- lit delights. Oh, and I finished Dear John by Paige Toon in 2 days which is record breaking for me. Can't wait for her 4th book in 2010.

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2009. To sum up, all I can rememebr about 2009 is my OBSESSION with TRANSFORMERS!!! I bought the DVD for the first movie and watched it 5 or 6 times in a year. And I watched the 2nd movie 4 times in 2009. Twice in the cinema and twice on DVD. Madness. I almost wanted to get an Optimus and bumble bee toy but was deterred by the ridiculous price. I'm not willing to part $100+ to $200+ on some talking action figure.

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Off to bed. 2009 has been wonderful because of the many blessings from God, love form my family and Chao Ta, Sydney returning from Perth, Stefanie happily married and meeting someone from the past.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! GOD BLESS AND HAVE A WNDERFUL 2010!