Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Adam Lambert- what do you want from me

Hey, slow it down
What do you want from me
What do you want from me
Yeah, I’m afraid
What do you want from me
What do you from me

There might have been a time
I would give myself away
Once upon a time
I didn’t give a damn
But now here we are
So what do you want from me

What do you want from me

Just don’t give up
I’m workin’ it out
Please don’t give in
I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, what do you want from me

What do you want from me

Yeah, it’s plain to see
that baby you’re beautiful
And it’s nothing wrong with you
It’s me – I’m a freak
but thanks for lovin’ me
Cause you’re doing it perfectly

There might have been a time
When I would let you step away
I wouldn’t even try but I think
you could save my life

Monday, February 22, 2010

what use?

not a listener

not a comforter

so what are you?

what use is it if i cannot confide in you?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Another Channal?

It has been my dream to be a nurse. But I gave up that dream because of childish reasons, which was a shame. But I still wish to help others. Maybe God gave me a chance to work with young children which drives my passion to help children with special needs.

After I finish my Diploma and Degree in Early Childhood Education, I would like to go into Early Intervention for Children.

:)

that's my goal.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Unhappy

Lately I feel very sad. Not happy at all. It's been a long time since I feel happy about something related to me. Eversince that day I had an arguement with Chao Ta the feeling is worse now.

Maybe I should just face the fact that not everyone can be like some of the people whom I met in my life who can treat ppl out of their family with so much love, care and concern.

Maybe some time alone will do me good at this pt of time. I feel that I dunno who I am recently. Can I mummified myself?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Pretty Woman

Heard great reviews about the movie and after such a long long time, I finally got a chance to watch it. Old movie but great movie. So sweet and romantic. Funny too. Now I know, where one of my favorite song Fallen by Lauren Wood comes from.

I must say, Julia Roberts looks darn captivating in the show, and after Pierce Brosnan, Richard Gere is defineitly the next 'mature' man I think is CHARMINGGGGGG!!!!

I want to own the DVD/ VCD for this movie.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Heart of Worship

I wouldn't call my belief a religion. It's a Relationship.

It's time to go back into the heart of worship. I've never been going to church regularly, but that doesn't make me a bad christian. God loves me still, and I know he would be glad to see me back in church again, which I WILL.

I prayed, he answered and showed me the way. Once again, Lord has helped me. I am blessed in many ways.

I hope Chao Ta will open his heart. He doesn't have to believe but just give it a chance. Your wrong impression of Christianity is not God's fault but the person who gave u the wrong feeling. Therefore, look at things with an open mind. I am blessed with alot of good things in life (family love and support, you might say I am very fortunate) and I hope that you too can one day recieve the same kind of blessing as I do form God.

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Last Saturday Chao Ta brought me to Kent Ridge Park after dinner. It was ermm.. FAR FROM ROMANTIC but i'll give u stars for effort la. HaHa!!

One day, just one day, I hope to feel that you are proud to have me and that you can take the effort to impress me like how u would if we were dating.

As for me, I'll learn to be more WISE with money and decision making. Or rather not be SO RASH!!! I guess most of time m mistakes made is beacuse i am too RASH!! I must learn to give myslef time to think through.

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Being husband and wife is really not simple. I am willing to learn are you?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

:(

Why is it you are always complaining about me. You kept mentioning Why I this, Why I that? Have you thought Why you are not like this Why you are not like that. Look at what I said and what you said.

You crazy or what suddenly bring your friend into the picture. For your information, I never don't accept your friends. If I don't accept I would have stop you from even hanging out with him. I didn't even do it. You go drink with them, go bowling with them, I also never even say anything lor. (feeling WRONGED again)

One can only hear negative things about themselves for a limited time. Day in day out I only hear you painting a bad picture on everything I say or do. In the end I just want to shut off from everything that comes out of your mouth. How many times I ask you to talk nicely to me. I ask you question you can just answer straight to the point don't so sacrastic. Did you? You also give me the can't be bothered attitude what. So same lor, last time I listen to all you say, but you always give me this attitude until I sian, I do the same back to you.

If the opinion fo others matters to you? Why didn't it occur to you that storming out of the bedroom will make people think? Using your phone constantly at a wedding is a form of disrespect to your host? Posting up all your thoughts about me on your blog isn't a very good idea? etc.. etc..

You make yourself out in your blog to be so 伟大 towards your mom, towards me. But have you consulted our opinion about you? Honestly, you are one person who is very difficult to get along and handle. Have you wondered why you never get along with your family (including me) but do so very much with your friends? Don't you think it's a problem? If you yourself can't even get along with everyone in your family, how do you expect me to do so?

Take your sister for example, I was quite alright with her to begin with, then later on you had an arguement with her, I had to dun friend her also. Then your mom, you once in awhile argue argue, complain about her, natuarally, you have painted a bad picture of her. Your other family members, I never once heard you say their positive points, so how is it I suppose to have good impression of them when all you mention are their negative. Have I ever mentioned terrible things about my family infront of you? Even your friends, I only hear you talk about their negative characteristics of them. It's like everyone is not good enough for you. Did I say terrible things about Stefanie all the time?

You always feel that what you do or say about us is right.

Why is it you always paint a negative picture about every incident, every situation, everyone? For instance when you say me, I don't like it. I get angry and stuff. But I accept it eventually cos I know you care. Do you do that? In your mind is all about I don't cherish this, I blur, I stupid, I silly, I never get things right, etc..

If I am so terrible in your opinion, why do you still bother to do anything to make up. I will always be a lousy character in your view. Everyone is never good enough for you. Especially me.

Your blog is read by many people, you post all our problems up. My blog is oblivious to my friends. So have you ever wondered how I felt to have other ppl know that we have a problem. Your mom knows, your friends know, we have a problem. Was it everything about me this me that? Try telling them about how you scold and stare at me each time you are angry. Try telling them you prefer to stay at home all the time, and even when i convince you to go out, you are always unhappy. Try telling them the way you always say me stupid and silly. Then let them judge why our relationship becomes so bitter.

You say I am selfish. I think you are no better then me. In fact I don't even feel anything from you that tells me this whole problem could be your fault to. I just feel that I am the cause of it all. Which is what I hate, cos I know I'm not.

If you keep thinking that I am at fault, I am terrible, I am the cause of all your headaches and our arguement. Even if we meet up and talk, it's not going to do any good to the situation.

I am tired. I honestly am. I never expect you to be unltra rich although I just say for fun. I never expect you to be damn creative, always come up with fanciful ideas to entertain me. I never insist you get gifts for me all the time. All I want is someone who can be by my side. Who stands by me, when I am sad or did something wrong he will tell me NICLEY and forgive eventually or when I'm sick can take care of me. But I don't feel that anymore eversince we got married. All I feel is that I am nothing but a prick. I can bear with your nonsense and sucky temper why can't you accept my shortcomings.

I have finish my bit I don't want to say anymore le. I don't need you to judge me. Probabbly, you should go judge yourself first. If you are not full marks then how can you expect other ppl to do so. If you still have the why I this why I that mindset, no matter how much we discuss to salvage this relationship, it doens't help.

It is not easy to be a husband or a son. But if you are willing to humble yourself down, and seek people's opinion, I'm sure it isn't difficult.

I AM NOT ALWAYS DOING SILLY THINGS!!!! 1 CHEQUE INCIDENT AND YOU JUDGE ME BAD, and whatever I did later on is just unpleasent to you. WTF?!

Anything you wan to say please stop posting on your blog le. It makes the situation even worse. In fact I woke up feeling alright feeling positive that things will be better, i can change. But when I saw your blog, I feel that I have been judged permanently, I jitao sian.